Is it Possible to be an Outgoing/Extroverted Introvert?
Earlier this week, one of my readers commented on a post I wrote about ADHD. Her comment was such a good question that it sparked this post. She said:
I'm intrigued by the phrase “An Outgoing Introvert” as others are often surprised that I consider myself an introvert. Do you think we've learned to be outgoing out of necessity, so we can network, or is there something else going on? Any thoughts? ~ Janet Barclay
I love Janet's question! Let's talk about that today.
Over the years of attending networking functions and conferences I've learned that a good number of the people there consider themselves introverts… me included. (It's helpful to note that being shy and being introverted are not necessarily the same thing. Shyness is usually related to confidence and the other is personality type.)
Curious if You Are Introverted or Extroverted or Both?
I have described myself as an “Outgoing Introvert” or an “Extroverted Introvert” for years! At the time, I thought I had made up the terminology. However, I was not the first to coin the phrase.
As I was researching to write this post, I found a two quick quizzes you can take and get immediate results without giving your email.
- Forbes recently had an article on leadership comparing introverts and extroverts. In it, they referenced the quiz Are You An Introvert or Extrovert. I ended up with a balanced score, otherwise known as an E/I or Extroverted Introvert.
- Introvert-Extravert Test. I have no idea how scientific it is, but it seemed to come out pretty accurate for me. It rated me as balanced 50/50 too.
What in the Heck is an Extroverted Introvert?
Extroverted Introverts often fall right in the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Many E/Is have the best of both worlds because they can tap into either spectrum as needed.
I find that to be true for me. Once I meet people and conversation starts, I can get quite animated. I love my solitude — my thinking and reading time, but I also love loud music and dancing with my friends or getting up on stage to speak to 100s of people. I'm a mix.
So What Does This Have to Do With Business?
Regardless of if you are introverted, extroverted or a combination, any time you try to put a square peg into a round hole, it generally does not work.
Understanding your personality style is helpful in navigating networking, talking with prospects or building joint venture partners, etc.
I love people, but in general I'm much more comfortable if someone comes to talk to me rather than me seeking someone out. That has been true since I was quite young.
However, when I started my business back in 2002, I quickly learned that networking was much more effective if I was not trying to blend in with the wallpaper!
Over the years, I've learned many techniques and adapted. I'm still authentically me, but I approach interactions differently and with ease.
If you are interested in that Forbes article here it is: Introverts No Longer the Quiet Followers of Extroverts – Forbes. There are many excellent tips on accommodating various style types.
So, What Do You Do?
I'm always curious how other business owners manage their personality type to successfully navigate networking and other business conversations. Share your tips freely in the comments below!
To your easy and joyful success!
Stephanie
P.S. Let this settle and notice what is true for you. Every moment offers the opportunity to create the life you want with grace, ease, and joy. Let me know when you’re ready to explore possible next steps.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS POST DOES NOT CONSTITUTE BUSINESS ADVICE. NO RELATIONSHIP, INCLUDING ADVISOR/CLIENT, HAS BEEN FORMED AS A RESULT OF THIS POST.
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I took the tests and I turned out as an Extroverted Introvert — or as a balanced. I think that as time goes on I have worked on rounding out my personality so that I am now comfortable in groups and, while I may always be comfortable alone, I am also comfortable — and even enjoy — situations that are more extroverted.
However, I think it impacts the ways I grow my business and — in reflecting — I think this quiz has provided some insight into why I make some of the choices I make. And why I really like a balance of the time I spend with people and the time I am alone working… Hmmm.
Chris – Glad this post helped you have some hmmm moments. 🙂
Every test I’ve ever taken has pegged me as a clear introvert, except for the one on NerdTests you link to above, which showed me as “balanced.” It’s really important to stress that it’s not about how you act in particular situations, but your natural preferences.
When I started my business, I was terrified to go to networking events, but I learned to do what I had to do in order to spread the word about my business, and I even came to enjoy it, though I always prefer a smaller gathering where you sit down and talk over a meal over a large mix-and-mingle type of event.
That being said, I have found my bliss working from home as a virtual assistant, website designer, and blogger, because now I get to do most of my networking online, which is a form of written conversation.
I’m just thrilled that my comment inspired this post!
Janet – Great points and I would agree. The tests above are simply freebie tests that can get the conversation going and certainly not conclusive.
As I know you are aware, the Myers Briggs assessments go into much more detail. Here is a link for others that might be interested in going deeper into this topic. http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/take-the-mbti-instrument/
Stephanie – Great post, with several excellent resources – the tests, yes, but the link to the Forbes article was an insightful addition. Susan Cain’s book made me rethink assumptions about myself and those around me whom I lead or work with. Fascinating book. She turns so much on its head, which is always useful thinking. Thanks. (A big one from my childhood as a shy one is what you mentioned, shy does not equal introverted.)
Hi Sue – Thanks for sharing your comments and resource of Susan Cain. I love when thoughts can be turned on their head to bring new perspective.
The real confusor is that we have allowed the word ‘introvert’ to mean too many things. Shy, quiet, retiring, likes to be alone, to the extreme of being a hermit.
I really prefer to use the MBTI meaning which simply indicates where you draw your strength and where you go when you are stuggling with a problem or question. An introvert goes “inside” or somewhere they can be alone to “think it through”. I am clearly an introvert by that definition even though I make my living speaking to large groups (and even ENJOY doing so), I run into buildings that the rats and cockroaches are trying to get out of, and could definitely NOT be defined and quiet and thoughtful.
Sue West comments on Susan Cain’s book “Quiet”. As far I am concerned that book should be required reading for anyone who is still breathing. She does more to clarify what an introvert is and the shades of gray, purple and polka-dotted that is “an introvert”.
Now it’s time to go crawl into a quiet room and regroup!!
Hi Scott – Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for confirming Sue’s suggestion of Cain’s book.