Time management experts all over the globe tell us to get the tasks out of our heads and onto To-do lists.
To-do lists are really great for keeping us organized and focused where we should be focused. If followed, they help us get through our day and actually have gotten something done by the end of the day.
But, what if I suggested that I am starting to move away from solo To-do lists and I think you should consider it too?
What if you turned your To-Do into a To-BE?
“Doing” and “BEing” are truly combined, yet we often only put focus on the doing part. What if, at the end of a busy day or busy week, you could review and see that what you did helped you get clear on your strengths? What if your relationships grew and you were living a more balanced life while seeing amazing results?
Let me share a few examples of how this could work for you.
What You Might Choose to BE
As you go throughout your day, you have many options for how to receive and respond to what occurs. When you choose to BE a particular way, it impacts how you receive and respond. Here are a few choices, but there are many more that you could select for yourself.
Accepting | Ambitious | Anticipation | Aware | Awe | Benevolence |
Calm | Charity | Comforting | Contented | Confident | Courageous |
Curious | Delighted | Diligent | Elated | Empathetic | Excited |
Faith-full | Forgiving | Friendly | Generous | Glad | Grateful |
Happy | Hopeful | Humility | Intentional | Interested | Joyous |
Kind | Loving | Modest | Open-minded | Passionate | Patient |
Peaceful | Satisfied | Surprised | Trusting | Willing |
Choosing to BE Can Change Your Outcome
Just to illustrate, here is a simple example of choosing.
Let's start with two choices of how to BE in your day: Frustrated or Forgiving
Situation: You are driving down the interstate and someone speeds past you and swerves into your lane.
If you choose Frustration: You get angry and maybe say a few swear words. Irritation mounts as you think about how inconsiderate that person was. It might even stay with you all day bringing down the rest of your interactions.
If you choose Forgiveness: You are shocked that they came close but realize that they may have something urgent on their mind. You think of all of the reasons they may be in a hurry or examples of when you had been in a rush. Maybe they are rushing someone that has gotten hurt to the doctor. Maybe they excited because they just got the news that their daughter had a baby and they are rushing to meet him/her. Maybe they just got yelled at by their boss and they are having a bad day. You consider the various reasons the person may have acted in that way on the road and choose to forgive them and wish the best for them. You move on with your day and don't think about it again.
This is just one generic example, but I hope you can see how intentionally choosing how to BE at the beginning of the day, it can impact quite a bit.
It's About Being Your Bigger You
We all have our “smaller self” and our “bigger self.” When I'm feeling afraid and hiding out, it is my “smaller self” that is running the show. When I'm fearless and stepping out to help others, my “bigger self,” my “more expansive self” is running the show.
I don't know about you, but that more expansive “bigger self” is much more fun when I let her come out and play!
I talk with business owners after my workshops, keynotes, and presentations as well as with my private clients, and often the question of “how do I step into my bigger self?” I tell them it really can be as simple (not necessarily easy, but simple) as choosing who to BE that day.
Daily Intention Setting
Do you have an accountability partner or coach? One of the things that I have my private clients do (and I practice myself) is an intentional BEING practice.
Who do you intend to BE today? What characteristics or qualities of your bigger self do you intend to practice today?
Start the day by intentionally identifying who you are going to BE in your day. Then, as you go through your day, check-in to see how well you are sticking to that intention. How has it impacted your choices?
I have an online web form that my clients will often use to report in at the end of their day. It is amazing to see progress over a 30 day period when they begin to intentionally decide who they want to BE.
Example Using Networking
I have built my business around collaboration and networking, yet when I first started my business I would have rather gone and gotten a root canal than go to a networking meeting.
I simply did not like putting myself out there.
Yet, I knew that if I stayed hidden in my office, my business would not really grow the way I would like it to.
At first, I forced myself to go to events. I would walk into the room and instantly feel out of place and usually left without talking to too many people.
That was not working for me! I was “doing”, but not very well.
Then I decided to incorporate “being” into my “doing.”
I figured that if I went to a networking meeting, there had to be at least one other person that did not want to be there. If I was authentically compassionate and welcoming to that one person, then I would help make their day better and I would not be a “wallflower” at the event.
So, I decided to BE authentically compassionate and welcoming.
It worked! I lost my “smaller” self-conscious feelings because I was looking to help someone else. I continued to use this technique for years at every networking meeting I went to and taught it to others too.
As a result, I've had the blessings of meeting some really amazing people; but that never would have happened if I had not chosen my BEing.
Are You Willing to Try It?
Your challenge for this week, should you choose to accept it, is to start your day by deciding who you are going to BE in the day. Pick one to three BEing words. There is no need to do more and you can always pick different ones for the next day. Then, BE those things through your day and see how your results differ.
There is no better time to start than now!
Until we talk again,
Live Fully — Love Openly — Laugh Often — Leverage Your Brilliance — Connect Authentically — Get Your Message Out — Serve with Impact — Prosper Everyday
Melissa Schmalenberger says
This is a constant project in my weekly mastermind group. Who do I want to BE today is a great reminder! Great post!
Melissa
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Melissa, that is a wonderful practice to have in a mastermind because you can hold each other accountable.
Danielle says
I’ve been working on exactly this! I love that you listed so many ways of being. I will print out the list and try playing with each of them. Thanks!
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Woohoo! Love to hear that Danielle. Hope you stop back and let us know how it goes.
Brenda Spandrio says
Good post, Stephanie! Interestingly enough, what I realized in reading this is that in my determination to complete my “to-do” list, I inadvertently detract from what I want to “be.” It’s not enough to just cross out the tasks on my list. I think I would get more satisfaction if I had a stronger “why” for those duties. For instance, one of my tasks is to write a blog post. It’s not too terribly hard for me to do writing, but when my “why,” my reason for writing is more clear (“I want to help people be less anxious about XYZ today.”), the duty becomes a compassionate mission — and I am now BE-ing what I had intended! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Wonderful! Yes, for many years I got caught up in doing only. My to-do list was my master. I found, however, that I ended up more existing than living. Putting a focus on who I want to BE in a day totally changes my outlook. Today, I’m focusing on being a good listener, compassionate and powerful. Interesting combination (I play with combinations on some days) and I’ve found that my outcome has been awesome. Lots of fun conversations today.
Debra Jason says
I was in my exercise/dance class today and found myself making judgements about one of the women in the class (i.e. how she seemed uncoordinated). I caught myself because one thing I want to BE is non-judgmental. So instead of judging I thought about being grateful that I was in class, doing something nurturing & taking care of myself. She was there doing the best she could & taking care of herself. There are many mornings I wake up thinking things such as “today I want to be productive, positive, and joyful.” I forget to think about this on some days, but with your reminder I’ll DO more thinking about BEing. Thanks.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Excellent example Debra! So awesome that you could pull yourself out of that judgmental state while you were in it. Bravo! That is one that I have too. Maybe consider a positive statement to BE. For example, rather than “non-judgmental” maybe consider “accepting.”
Gina says
I agree with Brenda that this is a very impactful post. I’m going to try to remember to do that every morning — to think about who I want to BE. I’m working on being more bold in my thought leadership, so the word “audacious” came to mind. Your networking trick is very clever! I could relate to using that technique, because I do have a lot of empathy to people who feel uncomfortable. Focusing on them would make me forget about my fears. Fantastic post today, Stephanie!
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Hi Gina – Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my post. I’m thrilled that it hit a chord for you. Love both “bold” and “audacious”! When I first started this practice I put a note up to remind me. Some of my clients use alarms on their phones that simply say BE. I hope you’ll come back and let me know how the new practice works for you.
Kimberly Eldredge says
Stephanie, I love the way you can put in words practices that I employ in my life! Somewhere, I picked up the phrase, “Just for today, I will ______” On days where I remember to use it, I notice I’m much more centered. It’s usually something like: “Just for today, I will be patient.” or “Just for today, I will be happy.” I love the permission to only BE for one day. I feel I can do ANYTHING for one day, even when it’s a stretch. I’m going to go over your list of BEing suggestions and pick a few out for the week! Thanks.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Hi Kimberly, I love that “Just for today, I will _______.” That is SO powerful! Thank you for sharing. So excited that you have more tools to BE now. Would love to hear how it goes for you.
Brenda Adams says
This is one of the most instantly impactful posts I have read in a long time. Absolutely brilliant Stephanie. I love the simplicity and the importance of the message. Wow.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Brenda I am so glad to hear that! Thank you. Thrilled that you stopped by to read. I find that often it is the most simple things that have the most profound impact.
Janet Barclay says
Very inspiring! Something to add to my morning startup routine… 🙂
Stephanie LH Calahan says
The morning start routine is an excellent place for this Janet. Look forward to hearing how it goes for you.
Reginald Chan says
Hey Steph!
Nice article and this reminds me a lot of myself. I believe in productivity and I abuses EverNote and WunderList like no tomorrow.
Everything goes into there and it helps me to keep track of things I need to do.
Do I recommend using one (or more)? Of course! 🙂
Cheers and have an awesome week ahead!
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Reginald –
Thanks for visiting from Twitter! Both of those tools are fantastic. Care to share your strategy for using them?
Charles Miske says
I love how positive all these statements of being are. I encourage everyone to aim higher every day with a positive affirmation of being.