I'm a part of an awesome private challenge group on Facebook where each week we take on a daily challenge that amps up our ability to truly love life.
This past week, the challenge was to appreciate someone every day and there were extra points for sharing that appreciation in public.
Within the group, a discussion started about giving appreciation and having it rejected. Has that ever happened to you? Doesn't feel very good does it?
At one time I could not accept a compliment or expression of appreciation. I simply did not know how. I would drive myself so hard that I didn't think anything I did deserved appreciation, because it could have been better. It really didn't matter what it was.
Deep down, I didn't feel that I was good enough to receive the compliment or appreciation. I didn't know how to receive a blessing and as a result, I didn't know how to be gracious.
So, when someone would say something simple, like, “You have a great smile,” I would brush it off or make comments belittling myself.
Have you done something similar?
I thought I was being humble. I didn't realize that I was possibly hurting others by not accepting their compliment or appreciation.
Since then, I've done a lot of internal work on that and now realize that a simple “thank you” or “you're welcome” goes a long way for me and the person sharing the blessing, compliment or statement of appreciation.
As the giver of appreciation, I've learned that different people receive different types of appreciation as welcome more than others. For example, some like public statements and others would find public statements of recognition distasteful. Public recognition and acceptance of recognition are approached differently in various cultures. I do my best to honor that.
Because of that, I don't take ownership in someone's response to my expression of appreciation. Me sharing gratitude is my journey. How they receive it is theirs.
How about you? Do you actively express appreciation for others? Do you easily accept appreciation from others?
When I talk about being open to receiving all the good that can come to you, it can start as simply as being able to graciously say, “thank you” when someone says something nice about or to you. Receive it with open hands and see what that does for your day.
Until we talk again,
Live Fully — Love Openly — Laugh Often — Leverage Your Brilliance — Connect Authentically — Get Your Message Out — Serve with Impact — Prosper Everyday
Eric Deeter says
Great information, Stephanie.
Heard a message from a pastor who said we will only be able to give value to others at the level we value ourselves. Deflecting compliments isn’t humility. It’s more likely an indication of insecurity, at least this was true in my life.
Jesus said the second greatest command is “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The implication is that you will love yourself too. And if you don’t love yourself you won’t be very good at really loving anyone else.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Eric
Yes!! It was actually studying that scripture many years ago that brought it home for me. The 2nd most important commandment is to live everyone and each one of us is a part of that “everyone.” Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. ツ