One of the fastest ways for you to reach more people, so you can serve more people, is to get your message out far and wide.
We all know that using different media to teach and market is an awesome way for our ideal clients to find us. Yet, we put off actions that we know will produce results for our business.
Why is that??
Secret: Many of us have a sneaky gremlin or two that keeps us from really being all we can be.
I call them Visibility Blocks and they can literally sabotage your success.
Understanding What a Visibility Block Is
But before I go into that, I should probably take a step back and talk about what a visibility block is.
A Visibility Block is simply a belief that you knowingly or unknowingly have going on in your subconscious that is limiting your ability to get more visible!
I have had an overcome MANY visibility blocks in my time as a business owner and I have talked about some of them here on this blog. Every client that I have worked with has had them too, so odds are you do too.
Today, I'll share a few common blocks and also tell you about one that I'm going to overcome personally. (One trick to overcoming blocks is to make them public!)
Some common blocks:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of success
- Camera shy
- Procrastination
- Perfectionism
- Overwhelmed with how to start
- Impostor syndrome
- “This has already been done” concerns
- Miscellaneous distractions
- Holding onto control
- No time
- “I can't trust anyone, I'm the only one that can do this right.”
- Foggy thinking
- Desire to lose weight first…
- Worry, e.g., what if no one is interested?
- Giving up easily
- Overwhelm with technology
- and so on
As I was thinking about writing this post, I came up with a rather large list of blocks to our visibility that either, my colleagues, my clients or I have struggled with. So, this month I'm dedicating a number of posts to the topic.
My personal struggle with Visibility Blocks
There are two practices that I have that consistently help me overcome my own visibility blocks: practicing energy psychology and being publicly transparent.
When I publicly say I'm going to do something I am way more likely to find a way to eliminate a block!
Recently, I have had an opportunity to put that to the test.
Those of you that have read my blog for a while know that a few years ago I had a major health crisis. I had always said that if I had a chance to share that story to help someone else, then I would.
Then it happened and I almost faltered! A visibility block cropped up.
One of my big visibility blocks is self-consciousness of my body. I'm way better than I used to be and still have work to go. (Look at most pictures of me and you will not see full body shots!) Some of you know that I had quite a transformation a few years ago (230 pounds to about 165 pounds) as a result of finding my health.
A reporter from First for Women magazine remembered my story and asked me for an interview.
Sure!! I hopped on the phone with her that day and chatted enthusiastically. She really liked the story and wanted to pitch it to her editor.
Then she asks:
“Would you be willing to do a photo shoot if we move forward with the story?”
My initial response in my head was RUN!
(Cameras… Ug… Someone else controlling the cropping…Ug)
I took a second to compose myself and asked what it would entail (buying me more time…)
She tells me that they would use a local photographer and I would not have to travel.
I quickly talked to myself and said “testing universe testing.”
Then, I told her yes.
At the time I thought…
If the story gets picked up — great!
If it does not get picked up — great
Either way I stepped up and said “yes” today. Another step forward.
To help keep my courage up, I publicly posted the story above to a Facebook group that I'm a member.
Understanding My Visibility Block in Detail
As I talked with the other members of the group, I was able to narrow down my block even more. Was it really being self-conscious, or something else?
I have talked, sang and otherwise performed in front of hundreds of people. I have gone on TV and radio live. I am interviewed on teleconferences and G+ HOAs.
Why was this such a big deal to me?
Then I realized that I've always been the person taking the pictures. I got my first camera when I was in grade school. It wasn't until the last 7 years or so that I'd get on the other side of the camera. Somehow pictures seem more perminent to me. (The subconscious is not that logical.)
As I have had time to reflect, I believe I hesitated more because I would not be able to control the images.
I laugh because my block is pretty specific. Somehow still photographs are the issue for me. Funny how the mind works. I now choose to observe and step into that fear anyway.
The Story Is a Go
Flash forward two weeks and I hear back from the writer. Her editor has put the green light to the story (small column supporting a bigger story) and they need the photo shoot to be done by January 3rd for the “after” shots.
They will send a photographer, hair and makeup pro and clothing stylist to my house.
Whew! All kinds of
“stop”
“no”
“cancel”
type thoughts rushed into my mind.
Now, it was more than pictures. My two Visibility Block gremlins “body consciousness” and “control freak” were both playing with me big time.
Multiple people were going to be having an impact on what I looked like.
Where many women would be thrilled with the idea, I had the gremlins talking in my ear.
All kinds of things came to mind:
— The dog will go nuts
— It's right after Christmas! Our house is never photo ready right after Christmas!
— A photo shoot after I eat Christmas dinners?!
— David (my son) is still home on winter break. I want to be able to spend time with him.
— What if I can't stand the way I look?
Then, I told those nasty gremlins to be quiet. They were no longer going to hold me back.
I replaced their things with new things:
— Marlon (my husband) agreed to help take the Christmas decorations down and he is fantastic at cleaning.
— The dog will be fine and since David is home, he can watch him.
— I had been praying for a way to stay true to my healthy food choices and now I have motivation!
— The pros that they hired are awesome and this is going to be fun!
— The writer and the editor have been amazing to work with and super responsive.
— I will go and buy an outfit or two just to celebrate the occasion!
— Most importantly, sharing my story will help others.
Tomorrow is the day.
Wish me luck!
Take a look at the activities that you are avoiding/resisting. Could it be that you have visibility blocks too? We'll be exploring this some more in the coming weeks.
Antoinette Hayes says
Stephanie, I always enjoy reading your articles. Your genuine personality always shine. Have fun with your next level of success.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Thank you Antoinette! Happy that you enjoy my posts.
Gina says
Too bad you didn’t make a bigger list of Visibility Blocks, Stephanie — I have all of the ones you listed and more. I totally relate to the photographer story. I had the same thing happen to me with my academic business about 6 years ago, and I am enshrined for all posterity with my previous dark hair and weighing too much, in a subscription journal that no one outside of my specialty reads, Thank God.
I agree, though, that this is all gremlin material. I’m the queen of procrastination and coming up with pathetic excuses that even I don’t believe. This is why I ended up with my current business helping coaches help people like me! I’m my own best client, so to speak. Except that, as the saying goes (more or less) if you are your own coach you have a fool for a coach and a fool for a client.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Hi Gina! Oh, the list is much longer. I’ll be writing on different blocks this year. 🙂 I have a number of images that I don’t like that can be found in simple Searches! But they are all gremlins. It’s not a reason to not do something. It’s awesome that you see the blocks that hold you back and find ways to power through them!
Debra Jason says
You’re an inspiration and by sharing your story you’re helping others. Way to go my friend. I can’t wait to see the photos.
You’re beautiful inside & out.
🙂
D
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Awe Debra! How kind of you to say. I can’t wait to see them either!
Christine Alejandro says
Stephanie: Those “what-if’s” can really get in the way, can’t they? “What if I don’t look like I want to?” “What if I can’t find the right outfit to wear?” “What if my house doesn’t look ‘magazine perfect’?” You acknowledged all the “what-if’s,” answered them logically & allowed yourself to experience the recognition you deserve! Well done! Thanks for sharing your personal visibility block experience with us. It allows us to see the same issues within ourselves & know we are not alone in our struggles!
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Exactly. The more we can share our experiences, the more we can help others.
Kimberly Eldredge says
Congratulations on doing something that scares you! Isn’t it amazing how those gremlins show up? I always think I have a pretty good body self-image and then WHAMMO! The one I’m facing right now is for some videos I’m shooting for a new product launch and only focusing on a “flaw” in my appearance. But I’m 99.9% sure I’m the only one who will even notice.
I’m so proud of you for feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I can’t wait to hear the “after” story.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Kimberly – Publish the videos!! We all have flaws. No one is perfect. Your content is what your audience is craving. Tell your gremlin to go away. 🙂
Tandy Elisala says
Oh my goodness. How did I miss this post before today! Stephanie, I trust everything went perfectly… We’d like to see pictures:-) Thank you for having the courage to share your visibility blocks. I can relate 1000%. My list is a litttllleee longer than yours. One of mine is, everything needs to be perfect or just so (website, blog, pictures, etc… before I can take action.) That’s not working for me. I finally got out of this mode and go with the philosophy that ‘it’s good enough for now.’ There are days where I vacillate back and forth multiple times and I force myself to be still and remember that everything always works out. Congrats by the way for your awesome health and body transformation.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Tandy – (grin) I am a recovering perfectionist, so I relate to what you share here. Yes! “It’s good enough for now” is a great technique to rid that gremlin. Thanks for sharing.
Kimberly Eldredge says
I’ve recently fought with a visibility block. I have spent nearly 90 days working on a free video training series. It’s been a challenge working through tech challenges, learning about lighting, sound, and teleprompters.
But the BIG one has been dealing with hair, makeup, and wardrobe! It’s a challenge to not see my “flaws” and know that people are just focusing on my content. It was especially challenging during editing when I was looking at everything in extreme slow motion NOT to focus on the little things like I purse my lips before speaking or my eyes don’t blink at the same rate.
Now that the training is published and out there in the world, the reviews are nothing but positive. AND they are only focusing on the content and none of the “flaws” that I still notice.
Here’s the link to the video series:
http://publishyourebookblueprint.com/home/
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Woo hoo!! You go Kimberly! When you commented here originally you were stalling on that project. SO GLAD that you let that gremlin go! Can’t wait to see your videos. From what I hear, they are awesome.