Being able to connect and grow relationships is one of the best ways that you can grow your business. Yet, I have had conversations with new and seasoned business owners that have put a limit on who they can connect with.
Have you ever met someone or saw someone and felt like you could not talk to them? Where are you telling yourself that you are “not good enough” or “not smart enough” or “not X enough” to have conversations with someone??
Here is an example for you, every week on Breakthrough Business Strategy Radio, host Michele Price encourages her listeners to reach out and actually have conversations with her regular guests and her special guests for that show. Some people will take her up on the offer and reach out to us, while others never do.
I had one person connect with me about a year ago from the show and we chatted on social media. At the end of the conversation, he tells me “you are really authentically real.” I laughed and thought, I don't know any other way to be!
We had an interesting conversation about that. Since I had been on a radio show, he felt that I might not be interested in talking to him. (He had not been interviewed on the radio.) Couldn't have been farther from the truth.
I'm so glad that he reached out and started a conversation! We talk frequently now. Here are some ways that you can try this yourself:
Know that You are enough!
I believe that we all have blessings and gifts that are different. The world is a better place when we step up to our own greatness and interact.
Know that Their Perspective of Themselves May Not be as “Big” as You Have of Them
We don't know what we don't know. What you see online or watch on a stage is only one component of anyone's life. Just because someone has it look to you like they are 100% together and “have it all” does not mean that they do. They may be craving connection too! Really! I'm serious about this one.
Comment on Someone's Social Media Posts
Every business owner that I have talked to from those starting out to those that have built multi-million dollar business want interaction and engagement! If you find a post on GooglePlus, Facebook or LinkedIn that you resonate with, comment! Share how you relate or ask a deeper question.
Comment on and/or Share their Blog Posts
I love comments on my blog that engage in conversation. Don't you? There is some education out there that would tell you to only comment if you have some tip to add. I just don't agree. I suggest that you comment
- when you have something to add,
- when you are answering a question that the blogger asked
- when you have a question you'd like clarification
- when there was a particular section of the post that spoke to you
- when you have an opinion to share
- etc.
On Social Media Simply Wishing Someone a Good Day!
Here is a tweet I received today:
Gary Hyman - @StephCalahan Good morning Stephanie. Hope you had a good weekend and your Monday is going well?
Gary is excellent at engaging in conversation and he and I have chatted a number of times on Twitter. If you want some examples of simple, yet engaging conversations, go see what he is up to on Twitter.
Open a Conversation at Events or Networking Meetings
I remember a number of years ago when I was in awe of someone that I had been introduced to through a teleseminar. I learned that we would be going to the same conference and wrote her a quick note on Facebook telling her I looked forward to meeting her. Yet, it took me 2 days of a 3-day conference to walk up to her and say hello! I did it though and I'm really glad I did. Turns out, she is very introverted and does not like approaching others. We have since done a number of projects together. What a wonderful thing I would have missed if I had not stepped up my game and brought my “higher/bigger self.”
The Point is >> Connect!
What other things do you do?
Who can you talk to today?
What do you think? Have you ever felt that way?
Until we talk again,
Live Fully — Love Openly — Laugh Often — Leverage Your Brilliance — Connect Authentically — Get Your Message Out — Serve with Impact — Prosper Everyday
Rochelle Gordon says
I am happy to connect on social media. It is wonderful. In fact, it is so wonderful that I can get lost in these conversations and before you know it, hours have gone by. Even though it is great, it takes me away from working on my business. Does that stop me from social media commenting, of course not! Thanks for this post.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Hi Rochelle – Thanks for stopping by today. You sound like a pro! Yes, there is a risk of losing too much time. I set a timer on my phone to help me stay on track. Maybe that would help you too.
Pamela @ Still Dating My Spouse says
People forget to “connect” online. With this connection, be you & genuinely concerned & engaging. Most IRL opportunities start online. Great info.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Hi Pamela – I have to say your signature on your comment made me smile. Love that you are still dating your spouse. That is so sweet! Love that you are there for all of the couples looking to reconnect. Yes, I agree that many “in real life” opportunities start online in today’s communication. I have met people that are long-time friends, affiliates and business partners on projects. Starting online allows you to connect off line as time goes on.
Kimberly Eldredge says
I think we’ve all fallen into the “hero” worship trap! This is especially true when you are at an event and you see somebody who you admire, follow online, receive their emails, etc. It’s hard NOT to be in awe of someone you look up to — even if all you admire is that they ALWAYS send out their email newsletter. I just remind myself: She puts her pants on one leg at a time. Just like me! Then I smile and go introduce myself. I’ve made some of the best business/friendship connections that way. It’s not about the “how can we exchange dollars” business friendships but a friendship between two people who are both in business and how can we help each other. And never underestimate the power of NOT knowing somebody is a “celebrity” either! I’ve had great, honest connections with people simply because I didn’t know they were an author, presenter, break out speaker, etc.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Kimberly – Thank you for sharing the techniques that work for you! “It’s not about the ‘how can we exchange dollars’ business friendships but a friendship between two people who are both in business and how can we help each other.” When you approach any conversation with this perspective, positive outcomes are bound to happen!
Tandy Elisala says
Stephanie, what an engaging post. Thanks for putting this topic ‘out there’. I agree with Kimberly’s comment about us falling into the ‘hero’ trap. After two experiences of keeping my distance from people I wanted to meet, I have definitely become more comfortable reaching out to others because they are people just like us. They have the same issues and they likely have some insecurities. It’s just that they have excellent coping mechanisms or have others around them to help bridge the gap. Another reason I’ve shifted my thinking on this topic is if my intuition tells me to connect, there’s a reason for it. To your point Stephanie, I wholeheartedly agree with you about everyone wanting connection… meaningful connection. No matter where on the ‘ladder’ you are, everyone has the same inherit needs and loves connecting with others and knowing they make a difference.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Tandy – Welcome to my blog. Glad that you stopped by today. I’m so glad to hear that you are shifting habits with this topic. What have you done to help your comfort level and make the shift? I bet if you share, you’ll help someone else reading this post!
Brenda Adams says
Interesting blog and comments. If I think about people who are held up by others as a hero, guru, expert etc… and what their experience might be like and I wonder how many of the connections they get are just about the money and how many are because a person truly wants to connect. It could be refreshing for them to have someone connect just for the sake of it, without any hidden agenda.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Brenda – Good questions. From my experience, there are many different reasons people don’t “put themselves out there.” I think it is possible to have really meaningful conversations and connections with a group of people and still feel intimidation with a different group of people. Our life experiences set the path for how we will perceive our current experiences. Here is an example. I had a client that had difficulty talking with new people. She was an amazing conversationalist with people she already knew, but froze when it came to talking with people she had not met. I asked her to do a journal experiment writing down every instance where meeting someone new had been a problem or challenge. When she came to our next appointment she was amazed to share that the memory that was the strongest was from when she was in grade school. She had “put herself out there” to say hello to a new student at the school. The student did not respond kindly and hurt my client with what was said and made her feel “less than.” She had never healed from that experience back in grade school and it tainted her adult interactions.