You see that woman standing next to me in the picture? Her name is Ms. Beale (and I call her Momma and my son calls her Grandma.) I have known her since 1990 when I first started working for her at the university.
She has this amazing ability to make everyone feel valued.
Have you ever met someone like that?
Have you ever had someone that made you feel important, special, valued, or loved?
Sit back for a moment and think about how that felt.
What if you could help your clients, customers, contacts, and partners feel that way?
Would they want to spend more time with you or less?
This past month I had the honor of attending her 70th birthday celebration. While at that event, I reflected on the slews of people that were there because she had been an employer, special friend, mentor, and even “mother” to those of us that worked with her.
The really wonderful thing about this amazing woman is that every person that has come in contact with her feels like they are her favorite. I was certainly one of them. Here are just a few things that she consistently does that you could try to:
1 – Greet People with a Smile
No matter how busy you are, when you meet someone or even when answering the phone smile! Your energy changes and the person you are interacting with can tell.
2 – Listen
Often I go to networking meetings and I can tell when someone is listening or simply waiting for their turn to talk. Have you had that happen to you? When you truly listen you show that you value the person that is talking. When you truly listen you show that you value the person who is talking.
3 – If You Like Someone, Tell Them
I know that this sounds really simple, yet many people don't do it. People like to hear that what they do matters and makes a difference. People like to hear that what they do matters and makes a difference.
4 – Believe in Them
No matter how successful someone is in their life or business, most still have moments of doubt (yes, even the people that seem to have huge egos…) Encourage your clients, connections, and partners to be the best them that they can be. Let them know that you see their potential and cheer them on. Encourage your clients, connections, and partners to be the best them that they can be.
5 – Share a Resource or Make an Introduction
Once you have practiced listening, you know the needs of the people you are interacting with right? Then take that next step to share a resource or introduce them to someone that they would like or could help them. It only takes a few seconds, but shows that you were really paying attention.
6 – Be on Time aka “Early is On Time and On-Time is Late”
Are you someone that shows up right as things are starting or show up late? How do you feel when that happens? Are you able to be centered and focused on what you are there for? By arriving before a scheduled meeting or event you are giving yourself the space to get settled and fully focused on the person you will be talking with.
7 – Understand that Honoring Diversity Elevates Everyone
What do you do when someone disagrees with you or believes something differently than you? I know of many that will shut out those that think differently. Yet, it is in our diversity of thought and backgrounds that allow the most amazing inventions and collaborations to happen.
8 – What Would You Add?
What are things that others have done to make you feel special? I'd love it if you would share it in the comments below to keep the list growing.
Until we talk again,
Live Fully — Love Openly — Laugh Often — Leverage Your Brilliance — Connect Authentically — Get Your Message Out — Serve with Impact — Prosper Everyday
Debra Jason says
Treat others with respect and integrity. And, when you talk to them, look them in the eyes.
🙂
~Debra
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Agreed on all counts Debra! Thanks for sharing.
Alex Navas - Christian Business Academy says
What a great list Stephanie. Thanks for showing us who inspired you to identify these traits. The last thing I would add to make people feel special is actually what happens after you meet them.
Simply calling them or sending a hand written note a couple days after meeting someone new leaves people in elation because most others they met will never take the extra step to follow up after the initial meeting.
Appreciate you sharing and reminding me of what’s most important.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Hi Alex. Thanks for dropping by. I could not agree more! That extra step of calling or writing makes a big difference. Thanks for adding to the list.
Lisa Mallis says
Great post Stephanie –
whenever someone goes out of his/her way to follow-up on a casual comment I feel special. Maybe I mention I’m looking for a resource and then I find an email in my inbox with just the perfect referral. Or I mention I like chocolate, and the next time I see this person, they bring me some.
I love to receive mail that isn’t a bill and know many people feel the same so I write handwritten notes to people I meet at networking events, friends, clients, former clients, family, etc.
Lisa
Stephanie LH Calahan says
All great examples Lisa! I’m always honored when someone remembers little things about me too. Do you have any tricks for how you remember for other people?
Jory Fisher says
I love that you are addressing this topic. Thank you, Stephanie. At an early age, I was taught by my father to look people in the eye, to call them by name, and to have at least three questions in mind to ask them at social events (questions vary of course depending on the setting). Lo these many decades later, I still hear my dad’s voice from across “The River” reminding me how to help people feel special.
Some advice is simply timeless.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Jory – It is so good to see you here. Your father sounds like a wise man. For those that are not good at thinking up questions before an event, do you have suggestions?
Amethyst Wyldfyre says
This is just DELICIOUS @Stephanie! I LOVE your list! and I would add to make sure you are practicing your own self care first and foremost because you can not serve with a smile from an empty well….
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Amethyst – YES! I could not agree more. That is something that I did very poorly in my younger years and paid a hefty price down the road. Thank you for mentioning that for others to take in.
Sue Paananen says
This is a great post, Stephanie. Hmm, hard to add to this great list. Maybe sending them a note not only after you meet them, but if you hear about them having a difficult time with their health or the health of a loved one.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Sue – Great point! Taking the time to acknowledge various life events is a great way to show you care.
Gina Hiatt says
The underlying “come from” that I always try to think about is that it’s all about the other person. They are not judging me, they are more worried about themselves. So I do everything I can to make others feel accepted and good about themselves.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Gina – Such wise advice. It is really simple to get caught up in our own self-consciousness and not realize those things. Thanks for shedding some light on what works for you.
Colleen Reynolds says
I think it’s always great to immediately follow up with an email, giving the person information you discussed or scheduling the lunch you talked about. It shows you’re serious about the connection/relationship you have or made.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Absolutely! Fast followup really does indicate interest, doesn’t it? There are so many people that have trouble with that. Do you have any tricks to share for how you make sure to follow up fast?
Martia Nelson says
Love the list. So simple but sometimes we forget. Being fully present with another person is an art form, but both people walk away feeling enriched.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Martia – Yes! I love how you say to be fully present and I agree it is an art form. In today’s fast paced, multi-tasking world, I also think it is a practice of discipline to be fully present. How many times have you been talking with someone only to see them checking their phone for a text, etc.? I think it happens way too often. The richness in a relationship blooms with being present.
Martia Nelson says
Good idea about the note. Even a quick email in that situation makes an impact.
Brenda Adams says
I LOVE getting a handwritten note. My mailbox is usually just junk mail and bills, so to get a note is a really great surprise!
Brenda Adams says
Thank you for this list Stephanie, so many great reminders of how I want to be when I am in relationship with others. I think the only thing I would add is to only ask questions that you really want to know the answer to. I think we often get caught in asking questions out of habit or social etiquette (ie. how are you, what do you do for a living, etc.). Instead let’s get really curious and ask questions that really show we are truly interested in the other person. If you aren’t interested, move on :-), don’t try and fake it.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Brenda, You bring up a really great point about those standard questions that we have been taught to ask. It’s way better to ask questions that we are really interested in hearing the answers.
Donna Marie Johnson says
Setting expectations is a huge one in my business. When I am onboarding new clients or getting event attendees registered, I use the following checklist to make sure I have clearly communicated things that they would need and want to know:
*clear listing of what to expect immediately after signing up
*easily visible and accessible contact form and contact info so they can get questions answered before/after signing up
*sending a welcome email immediately after sign up to ensure they know what I will do for them and any action steps they need to take on their end, also
This is just a tidbit, but an important tidbit, that I use to help me ensure the folks I serve know what to expect before, after and during our work/event together.
Steph, of course, your list is so totally thorough… I do all of that, now, haven’t always, but have learned over the years.
The one that I struggled with most when I was first starting out was being on time. I really make this a priority now. It is so important, but…
I also know that when someone extends me grace if/when I have a bad day in this area, that also makes a huge impact on my life. Leesa Renee Hall is one of those folks that has been gracious in that regard to a big error on my part and that is what opened the door to a now great friendship and collaboration that has been a truly awesome blessing to my life and business.
Stephanie LH Calahan says
Thank you for sharing so openly here. Your thoughts around setting expectations as well as the example is right on. I also love how you shared your story of receiving grace. That can certainly make someone feel much better. Thanks for sharing.
THE'ROLLING'ROCKSTAR says
Hello dear friend Stephanie! Hello dear Society! I think one of the most important things in our life, no matter what the occasion are these magic words; THANK YOU & PLEASE! Use these magic words with a smile and you get a smile back 🙂 I appreciate your work Stephanie! Greetings from Germany
Stephanie LH Calahan says
So awesome to see you here! They are really quite simple phrases, yet very powerful.
Jim “Jimtastic” Scholes says
I found this all so true back in 1996 or so. I was at a gas station fueling a rental car in Chicago. The lady behind the counter was on auto response with no one making eye contact. “Thank you” and a response, if any, of “thank you” with no real communication or contact. I decided to make real contact. Back then we paid with cash, no debit cards and you got change back from a $20 when filling up. I held the $20 when she gave my total long enough as she reached for it to make her look up. I said “thank you” like I meant it, and looked her in the eyes. When she handed my change back tears were rolling down her cheeks and she said “thank you, you are the only person to treat me like a human all week” and she grasped my hand in both of hers. I sat in that rental car a few minutes amazed at how simple and free it was to make a positive difference in someone’s life. I promised then to try to leave everyone in a better mood than I found them in. The return was unexpected but welcome and seeing the tone in a room turn positive and people that know you smile when you enter, expecting something happy, is beyond words. It is a lifestyle and where my word Wonderfultastic comes from. Live your life the Wonderfultastic way! Great message Stephanie! Glad to be a follower! Thank YOU!